These guys give 110 percent

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These guys give 110 percent

Friday, March 29, 2002

By JOHN LEVESQUE
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER TELEVISION CRITIC

Hi, folks. It's Biff Barf on All Sports Radio and we've got a special guest today. He's Fen-Wei Park, official observer from the Korea Baseball Organization and one-time batboy for the Kia Giants.

Mr. Park is on a fact-finding tour in the United States, hoping to learn a few things from Major League Baseball that he can take home to South Korea. No truth to the rumor that he'll be taking Bud Selig with him. Ba-dum-bum!

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us, Fen-Wei. I heard your driver had some car trouble on the way over.

PARK: No problem. He's got good mechanics.

BIFF: Glad to hear it.

PARK: We're hitting on all cylinders now.

BIFF: Good. Let me be the first to welcome you to America. You've had a long trip.

PARK: It's a marathon, not a sprint.

BIFF: I guess it is. You must be tired.

PARK: We're not going to lie down.

BIFF: Probably a wise move. They say you should stay active to avoid jet lag. Have you eaten?

PARK: No. Gotta stay hungry.

BIFF: Why's that?

PARK: It's gut-check time.

BIFF: And what does that entail?

PARK: You have to suck it up, take care of business.

BIFF: I see. And that's because ...?

PARK: The competitive juices are flowing.

BIFF: Sure they are. Maybe you can get something later from the hotel chef.

PARK: He brings a lot to the table, moves well for a big man.

BIFF: He does indeed. Trained with Paul Bocuse.

PARK: In a league of his own?

BIFF: You could say that. By the way, you speak beautiful English.

PARK: Thanks. Have to stay focused, believe in myself.

BIFF: Tell me. How many games do you plan to see while you're visiting our country?

PARK: One game at a time.

BIFF: Of course. But how many in all?

PARK: Three up, three down.

BIFF: Ah, three in Seattle, three in Los Angeles?

PARK: Good call.

BIFF: Thanks. Your driver is leaving. Where's he going?

PARK: He has all the tools.

BIFF: I see that. Is he taking them somewhere?

PARK: He's going downtown. Say goodbye.

BIFF: What for?

PARK: He's putting on a clinic.

BIFF: A chauffeur clinic? Why?

PARK: He answered the call.

BIFF: Seems like a valuable guy to have around.

PARK: He's the complete package. Makes it look easy.

BIFF: Well, if he runs late, we can get you back to the hotel.

PARK: That's a long drive. Warm up the bus.

BIFF: It's OK. We'll call you a cab.

PARK: Good. The wheels just fell off.

BIFF: So, what do you think of Opening Day?

PARK: It's a beautiful day for baseball!

BIFF: True, unless it rains.

PARK: When it rains, it pours.

BIFF: Well, not always, but enough about the weather. I'd be happy to show you the city. Care to take a walk?

PARK: A walk's as good as a hit.

BIFF: I meant a stroll around town.

PARK: This is a dream come true. It hasn't sunk in yet.

BIFF: It's just a walk.

PARK: I'm looking forward to the challenge.

BIFF: Right. We have to take the stairs up to the street.

PARK: We need to get to the next level.

BIFF: That's one way of putting it. Where would you like to go first?

PARK: Gotta go for the jugular.

BIFF: Well, they might have jugglers at the Market. But they'll be passing the hat.

PARK: I'm just happy to make a contribution.

BIFF: How much do you plan to give?

PARK: I always give 110 percent.

BIFF: Somehow I'm not surprised. Where did you say you learned English?

PARK: Watching Mariners baseball on TV. You gotta love it.

John Levesque is the P-I's television critic. Call him at 206-448-8330 or send e-mail to tvguy@seattlepi.com. And if you've got a favorite overused baseball expression, be sure to visit www.sportscliche.com.

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