Being 'quirkyalone' means not having to date just for 'the sake of being a couple'

Quirkyalone, in case you were wondering, is "a person who enjoys being single (but not opposed to being in a relationship) and generally prefers to be alone rather than being on a date for the sake of being a couple."


		San Francisco Chronicle
	Author Sasha Cagen says a person who is "quirkyalone" enjoys being single but isn't opposed to being in a relationship.

That's an abbreviated definition from Bay Area author Sasha Cagen, whose "quirkyalone" (Harper San Francisco, 159 pages, $19.95) is the exact opposite of those insufferable books telling us how to get married in 30 days.

We took a moment to chat with the 30-year-old author about what defines a quirkyalone.

Please complete, fill in the blank: I -------- therefore I am quirkyalone.

Cagen: (laughs) I am a romantic therefore I am quirkyalone.

The ideal way for a quirkyalone to spend Valentine's Day:

Cagen: A communal gathering is always a good option, whether you're single or in a relationship ... or for anyone put off by the contrived, overly commercialized nature of the day. ... Playing games and making quirkyalone cards (in lieu of Valentine's Day cards) can be fun.

You discuss "romantic obsession" as the dark side of the quirkyalone (to give you a clear picture of what an R.O. is, Cagen offers John Cusak's Lloyd Dobler in "Say Anything" as the patron saint of R.O.'s). Is there any way to head off an R.O. at the pass?

Cagen: I think that age helps a lot. My hope is that as you get older it'll get easier to control these outbursts of obsession when a soul mate turns out to be not the soul mate you thought he would be. ... In some ways, all you can do is indulge it and then move on. You prefer to feel the full symphony of emotions as a quirkyalone and move on to a brighter day rather than pretend that it was nothing to you.

What's a quirkyalone to do in a sea of married zealots (when all your friends are so hitched)?

Cagen: For one thing, you can give them a copy of the book and ask them not to behave in a "perkytogether" manner (defined as "those who impose coupledom on everyone"). ... If you are quirkyalone, it's important to have single friends or to have friends who respect and understand your way of life.

You define "Le Quirkyslut" as a term of empowerment. Can you give our readers a broader definition of the term?

Cagen: A quirkyalone is someone who maintains high standards for a relationship but who requires different standards for a Saturday night or Tuesday night empowerment. It's possible to have sex with someone or just make out with them because it's fun. ... Most quirkyalones want love and sex to go together, or at least a strong emotional connection.

And finally -- what's your longest period of singledom?

Cagen: I guess it's hard to define. What does it mean to not be single? ... I guess you could say three years.

SO WHO'S QUIRKY?

Famous quirkyalones (from "quirkyalone"):

Aimee Mann

Margaret Cho

Janeane Garofalo

David Sedaris

Wonder Woman

Ralph Nader

Oprah

Oscar Wilde

Bjork

... and famously Unquirkyalones:

Ben Affleck

Bridget Jones

Ashton Kutcher

Freddy Prinze Jr.

(Supermodel) Gisele Bundchen

Team of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks

Woody Allen ("No. Quirkycreepy.")

Cagen will be at Third Place Books on Friday (6:30 p.m., 17171 Bothell Way N.E.) and then Monday at The Elliot Bay Book Co. (First Avenue South and South Main Street) at 5 p.m. and University Book Store (4326 University Way N.E.) at 7 p.m.

P-I reporter D. Parvaz can be reached at 206-448-8095 or dparvaz@seattlepi.com

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