Making her loss a lesson for living

In her South Lake Union apartment, Charlene Strong spends her days co-producing a documentary to honor Kate Fleming, her late partner who drowned in a Madison Valley flood last year.

Remaining focused is important for her so that "For My Wife" will be ready early next year.

"This film is a tool to open hearts and minds," she said.

Over the past year, Strong has been a public advocate for gay and lesbian rights at the Legislature, and she wants to get a message out nationwide about the ordeal she went though in dealing with her partner's tragedy.

Friday marks the first year of Fleming's death -- an event that shook Seattle and the audiobook industry nationwide after torrential rains hit the Puget Sound region.

	Fleming

Water flooded the basement of the couple's Madison Valley house last Dec. 14, and trapped Fleming in her recording studio.

Medics rushed the 41-year-old to Harborview Medical Center, where a social worker followed state law and barred Strong from entering Fleming's room.

While Fleming and Strong had celebrated their love in a commitment ceremony, they were not legally related.

"I never thought anyone would tell me I was not next of kin," Strong, 44, said in an interview last week.

She only gained access to the hospital room after she called Fleming's family for permission.

"Had I not gotten a family member on the phone, Kate would have died alone," she said.

Since then, Strong has been thrust into the public spotlight. Earlier this year, she testified before the Legislature to lobby for a bill that would give same-sex and older heterosexual couples enhanced rights, particularly with hospital visits.

This year, that bill became law and created a domestic partnership registry for couples.

The idea for a film was born around April when Seattle-area filmmakers L.D. Thompson and David Rothmiller approached Strong about chronicling the two women and about becoming an activist.

After talking with Fleming's family, Strong consented.

		GILBERT W. ARIAS / P-I
	Charlene Strong is making a film capturing what she went through at the death of her partner, Kate Fleming, who was killed in a storm Dec. 14, 2006, when she was trapped in their Madison Valley home and drowned.

"(Some) people say, 'You don't count,' " Strong said. "This has to stop."

About 80 percent of the $100,000 documentary has been filmed, but the filmmakers are still raising money to cover costs. When the 80-minute documentary is finished, Strong hopes it will be shown at film festivals.

"I've been inspired by Charlene's courage to talk about a devastating loss," said Kris Kucera, a Seattle friend. "The reason why she's doing that is so something positive can come out of this."

While a funeral director infuriated Strong last year by telling her she had no rights in arranging Fleming's service, there have been touching moments.

After the flood destroyed one of Fleming's national awards, the Audio Publishers Association surprised Strong and Fleming's mother by presenting a crystal replica at a New York City ceremony in June.

To audiobook fans nationwide, Fleming's soothing alto voice was a familiar presence. A modest woman, she also recorded voice-overs for commercials and documentaries.

"She was a stickler for proper diction," Strong recalled.

Fleming was born in October 1965 and grew up in Alexandria, Va. She loved acting and later pursued her career in the audiobook industry.

The two became instant friends after their first meeting. Before their commitment ceremony, they wrote down their core values.

Fleming said she cherished being kind to people all the time. Strong thought about being kind when she could. "In tribute to her, I'm trying to be kind," Strong said, laughing.

"Every time I speak with friends of Kate, we don't feel the sadness," friend Lyssa Browne of Seattle said. "We reminisce about how great she was.

"The lesson for everyone is: If you're going to die tomorrow, would you be glad of what you did today?"

Over the months, Strong has realized that people have been interested in listening to her stories. In the future, she hopes people will say one thing about couples like her and Fleming: "That they lived their lives just like everyone else."