When 'Mean Girls' go bad, they get all gooey

"Mean Girls" director Mark Waters had just come off the hit "Freaky Friday." Tina Fey, the sharp, bespectacled "Weekend Update" anchor of "Saturday Night Live," was the scribe, and she even wrangled her past and present cast mates to fill out the cast.

MOVIE REVIEW

MEAN GIRLS

DIRECTOR: Mark Waters

CAST: Lindsay Lohan, Rachel McAdams

RUNNING TIME: 95 minutes

RATING: PG-13 for sexual content, language and some teen partying

WHERE: Alderwood 7, Cinema 17, Crossroads 8, Everett 9, Factoria, Galaxy Tacoma 6, Galleria 11, Gateway 8, Issaquah 9, Kirkland Parkplace, Marysville Cinema 14, Meridian 16, Metro, Monroe 12, Mountlake 9, Oak Tree, Parkway Plaza 12, Redmond Town Center, Renton Village, South Hill Mall, Woodinville 12

GRADE: C

Sadly, much like an "SNL" sketch, "Mean Girls" starts off sharp and juicy, then runs out of gas halfway through. All that's left for it to do is take inexplicable turns (a character is run over by a bus, for goodness sake) until it hits a wall, then scramble to find a feel-good ending.

Lindsay Lohan plays a role similar to her character in "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," which opened just two months ago. Unlike that movie, this film includes parallels to "Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom." Why? Because Lohan's character Cady (pronounced like lady) was previously home-schooled in Africa, so she observes the social structure of high school as the animal kingdom's survival of the fittest. This results in some strange dream sequences, in which students freeze, then lumber like gorillas and roar on all fours -- which is at once amusing and bizarre.

Yet Cady is immediately accepted into The Plastics, a snobby triumvirate led by the beautiful and worshipped Regina (Rachel McAdams). Two who detest The Plastics and their elitist, backstabbing ways, Damien (Daniel Franzese) and Janis (Lizzy Caplan), recruit Cady to infiltrate the circle. Cady agrees after Regina promises to set her up with a hunk (Jonathan Bennett) but steals him for herself.

"Mean Girls" breaks down as Cady's drive to dethrone the queen bee turns her into a "mean girl," while Regina becomes sympathetic. The film can't decide between black comedy and bubblegum comedy, so it shoots aimlessly in between.

Rosalind Wiseman's book, "Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends and Other Realities of Adolescence," explores the self-esteem issues behind all the catty drama. What the film tries to do is weave in these revelations in one "Dr. Phil"-style pep rally, followed by a gooey prom speech.

It's hard to believe that Fey, as an unlucky math teacher, penned her own hokey, meant-to-be-inspirational pep talks. McAdams and Lohan fare better, but the most sympathetic character is gossipy Plastic Gretchen (Lacey Chabert of "Party of Five"), who is berated by Regina despite her loyalty. Gretchen takes the abuse because she thinks it is better to be in Regina's group and hate it than to be alone. Too bad she and the movie don't find a more satisfying ending.

Ellen A. Kim is a free-lance movie and music writer based in Seattle. She can be reached via e-mail at Lnakim@hotmail.com.