Empire Rising: A Satirical History, Part IV

As the time approached for the Senate to elect a new consul to rule the Roman Republic, the incumbent, Dubbia the Incoherent, had a big problem. His trumped-up war against the Saddamites was dragging on and on. Rather than "mission accomplished," it was becoming mission impossible.

In Rome, Dubbia was confronted by adversaries on all sides -- even among once-loyal advisers who now were telling the world the consul had made idiotic and dangerous mistakes. In desperation, Dubbia sought guidance from the gods. After praying in the Temple of Gipperius, he came away with a new resolve: He'd get his enemies before they got him ...