A.G. degree almost as good as a diploma

Everyone I know who's remotely associated with our state's educational system -- that is, everyone over the age of 3 months -- is enmeshed in the debate over the Washington Assessment of Student Learning, the WASL.

For those of you who have been in a coma the past decade, the WASL is a standardized test given to Washington public school students in reading, writing, math and, soon, science, geography, shop and, I believe, study hall.

Passing the WASL is proposed to be a requirement for graduating from high school, but students would be able to retake the test -- let's see, at last count, 87 times. Plans are also under way to provide alternatives to the WASL, such as the Way Easier Assessment of Student Learning, the WEASL.

People in favor of the WASL say it's important to set standards or else graduation won't mean anything, that teaching students what's necessary to pass the WASL will prepare them for college, and that telling students they have to pass the WASL will motivate them to learn.

Opponents of the WASL say the test is unfair to some students, that it puts too much pressure on them, and that students who fail the test all 88 times will feel bad about themselves.

Is this an impasse? Are students doomed to be ping-ponged between pro- and anti-WASL forces until out of frustration they drop out of school and join circuses?

I have a solution that will satisfy those who think the WASL is the greatest measure since the Stanford-Binet "IQ test" and those who have trouble spelling "IQ."

It's a degree for students who fail the WASL. It's the A.G. degree -- Almost Graduated.

Here's how it works: I'm a student who doesn't take tests well, principally because I can't read or write. Or I can take tests well, but for some reason the WASL doesn't measure what I learned all throughout school. Or I was distracted on test day because the person next to me was breathing too loudly. Whatever. I take the WASL and I flunk it. Then I take it again and I flunk it. Then someone reads it to me and mouths the answers, and I flunk it. So what happens to me?

What happens to me is this: I walk alongside my fellow students in the graduation ceremony but instead of a diploma, I get my A.G. degree. It's coiled and beribboned like the other diplomas, but instead of saying, "Congratulations, you've graduated!," it says, "Well, you Almost Graduated. Good luck."

I don't get humiliated, I don't feel bad about myself, and, best of all, I can continue with my life almost as if I graduated. If a business wants to hire me after seeing I have an A.G. degree, well, they deserve me. And nothing prevents me from returning to high school at some future date, say, when the Monorail's fixed. The A.G. is similar to the high school diploma and the A.A. degree. They don't really help you, but it's better to have them than not.

The beauty of this plan is that administrators can breathe easy, knowing that the WASL won't be challenged because no one cares all that much about it. Teachers can choose whether to revere or ignore it. Parents can return to their normal patterns of contributing to schools by buying wrapping paper and pretending to enjoy concerts. And students can resume attending school for the only reason they've ever attended school -- to bask in the sheer joy of learning.

That and to show off their clothes.

Neal Starkman lives in Seattle.

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