Have yourself a little less stress this holiday -- make a donation

For quite a few years now, my family -- whose members are spread out from Germany to Hawaii -- has agreed to try something different during the Christmas season. Buying Christmas presents was becoming onerous. In addition to shopping for each other's gifts and wrapping them, we also had to take them to the post office. This usually involved standing in long lines and required several trips over a period of weeks since rarely were all the gifts ready to be mailed at the same time. (That would be too efficient.)

We were all self-sufficient adults, and none of us had particular material desires that couldn't be satisfied on our own budgets. Also, I'm sure there were gifts sent and received that went straight into some drawer or closet. So at the risk of seeming like the Grinch one year, I suggested we forego the usual gift exchange and instead donate (to a charity or social cause) the money we would have spent on gifts and postage.

When I floated this proposal on our family e-mail network, a collective sigh of relief seemed to follow. Apparently this idea had been circulating through some of our minds for a while, but the power of rituals and tradition encourages conformist behavior, regardless of whether alternative practices might make more sense. Granted, not everyone thought this was a good idea. Mess with holiday rituals and tradition, and you might open a Pandora's box of banality: candy-less Halloweens, bunny-less Easters, tofu loaf instead of turkey on the Thanksgiving table. We could still exchange cards and good wishes, I reassured the unconvinced.

The change was ultimately well received by the widely dispersed family network members. In the early years, I donated money to a group that made Christmas stockings stuffed with both toys and school supplies for homeless children in King County. This year I'll give to the University of Washington School of Social Work, which is helping to start the first college-level social work program in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. The slight guilt I felt over not sending gifts to my adult family members was quickly replaced by the satisfaction of knowing that the money was instead going to organizations that depend on contributions of all sizes and forms (not just money) to continue doing the good work that they do.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not endorsing an end to Christmas presents altogether. That might result in a collapse of the retail sector of our economy and would be unfair to children who enjoy the material gain the season provides, as many of us once did. "Sorry Johnny, you're not getting that videogame this year because we're helping to re-establish the black-footed ferret" is a statement that will probably provide little consolation for a child raised in 21st-century consumerism.

But for adults who mutually agree they want to opt out of the gift-giving ritual because they don't really want or need anything (or could just as easily make their own purchases), there are many organizations and social causes that benefit from the redirection of funds.

Whether you're interested in helping the homeless, saving the environment, protecting animals, supporting youth through educational opportunities, enhancing the lives of older adults, developing health and social services in this and other countries and so on -- there's some place that can use your support.

The Seattle P-I's "Readers Care Fund" and The Seattle Times' "Fund For The Needy" make it easy to donate online or by mail to a select group of worthy organizations. Many employers match employee contributions. Washington public employees have their Combined Fund Drive, and United Way of King County has its workplace campaigns. Donors often qualify for a tax deduction.

Of course, most non-profits need support all year around, not just at Christmas.

Now my family members know that I prefer they make a charitable contribution rather than send me a gift at Christmastime.

It's less stress for us all during a time of the year that can be a little crazy-making, despite calls to observe the true meaning of the season. More importantly, money gets spent on people and organizations that need it more than I need a new tie.