It's no secret: Teens who do themselves harm are not so unusual

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Friday, November 15, 2002

It's no secret: Teens who do themselves harm are not so unusual

By SUSAN PAYNTER
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER COLUMNIST

THE DIRECTIONAL SIGNS, the paging system, the calm efficiency of the medical staff, everything makes sense in the innovative Burn Unit on Harborview Medical Center's Acute Care Floor. Everything, that is, except the reason 15-year-old Kelvin Wu is there, having set himself on fire to copy a TV stunt.

Why do teenage boys do this stuff? How do parents protect kids, even motivated A-students like Kelvin, from their own stupidity? As the mother of a son who, next month, walks into the valley of the shadow of teens, I wanted experts in medical mop-up to spill the secret of survival. I wanted advice on how to get a kid to at least age 18 without him imploding, exploding or blowing fingers off every Fourth of July.

It's easy to advise parents to monitor what kids watch, like the stunt movie "Jackass."

And, yes, of course, keep tabs on friends, insist on seatbelts and talk straight about drugs and sex. Do anything to keep fingers, toes and lives intact.

But what is it that drives kids to seek the sensation of driving into each other with cars despite TV announcers warning, "Do not try this at home"?

As it turned out, Harborview's new chief of pediatrics did have answers but only after I stopped asking dumb questions like what makes Wu a "special case"? Is it that, as a first-generation Chinese American, he was trying too hard to be one of the guys?

The thing is, this teenager is not unusual, Brian Johnston explained. Only the circumstance is.

Johnston talks to all the kids who are admitted to Harborview suffering from stupidity. And teenage boys are far over-represented as a group among the patients who arrive having hurt themselves one way or another.

Thank goodness, few soak their T-shirts in rubbing alcohol and light a match.

But, even in lesser extremes, Johnston thinks it would help if society understood why even kids with far lower thresholds of risk still jump from higher and higher parts of the backyard fence despite their mothers screaming, "You'll break your neck!"

"To a degree, part of this is normal," Johnston said. "One of the developmental tasks of adolescence is pushing away from parents. Doing anything that sets you apart from your parents is appealing. It can be the price of membership in a social group that may do or say or wear things that you might not choose on your own."

The trick is motivating teens to avoid the most dangerous risks while finding safer ways for them to feel the heady sensation of blowing off steam.

Six months ago -- about the time Johnston took on his new job -- the hospital conducted a project aimed at assessing and changing injury-inducing behavior.

Half the kids admitted with risk-related injuries spent time with a social worker who asked if they take certain safety precautions such as wearing seatbelts and bike helmets.

The other half was simply treated.

Six months later, both the "control" group and the others appeared to be more aware after an injury that they are not immortal after all. For a few months at least, they seemed to realize that wearing a seatbelt wouldn't spoil their fun.

But learning your lesson by surviving a boo-boo is not a prescription for graduating from high school in a single piece.

Teenagers have new bodies with new capabilities they want to try out, explained Johnston, the father of a 7-year-old boy and 3-year-old girl. "Society might be wise to look for more outlets in which teenaged boys can explore their need for sensation," he said. The old sports adage "keep them busy, off the streets and tired" is not far off the mark.

He pointed to one program sponsored by Harlem Hospital's Injury-Free Coalition. Its aim is to find a physical, exhilarating, even semi-risky escape valve for bored teenage boys who might otherwise be drawn toward guns and gangs.

The program brings in tons of bikes and sets up bike routes and racing events as a way for risk-seeking boys to push the envelope.

Of course, kids are imaginative. They'll find lots of other ways to vent and rebel and drive their parents crazy. Hopefully it will be something as mundane as a trip to the skateboard park with purple hair, pierced lips singing lewd lyrics.

If the trip stops short of the burn unit, maybe I can live with it. Maybe not. I admit it was only a year ago that I stopped saying, "fingers and toes!" when I closed the car door.

Susan Paynter's column appears Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Call her at 206-448-8392 or send e-mail to susanpaynter@seattlepi.com.

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